The Dilemma of Pain and HealingThere is no short cut to thorough healing. Sometimes healing hurts before it gets better, and accepting that can feel like a horse pill going down. The internal question pleads, "Do I really need to undergo a scalpel in surgery before I can get better? Isn't there an easier way?" I get it. I experience similar hopes of instant relief. Why Thorough Healing MattersMy first experience with thorough healing occurred several years ago when I found myself stuck in a pattern of gossiping. I didn't like this about myself, and I felt a lot of shame about it. I remember not knowing what to do and decided that any time I felt the desire to gossip, I would choose instead to go and pray, until the desire to gossip subsided. Sometimes I would pray for hours and once woke up in a kneeling position by my bedside around 3 am. I remember shamefully telling Heavenly Father about my behavior. I don't know what I expected, but I was surprised to be met with feelings of empathy and tenderness. My dear Heavenly Father stayed by my side as I explored why I had a desire to gossip. I started to see that I was struggling with insecurities. I better understood that I was afraid of various things. And I could see that I lacked a view of self worth. This deep dive into why I was struggling provided me with beautiful opportunities to look at those wounded parts, show them to the Savior, and to seek healing. This thorough healing created such a powerful change in me that I lost the desire (for the most part) to gossip. When the desire to gossip does show up, I can explore, with the Savior, how to find healing for those wounds. Consider with me what might have happened if I had just decided to instantly stop gossiping, without finding out my motivation. I might have stopped the behavior, but the wounds would have remained and it certainly would have come out sideways some other way. Thorough healing matters because: When I show up healed, I don't bleed on people who didn't cut me. I like to look at this as re-thinking repentance. We can more easily change our behavior when we seek to heal the wounds that trigger it. It's more gentle and it's also more thorough.
People who courageously seek healing, while holding the Savior's hand, show up differently. They do so because they aren't hurting by other people's wounds. As we search out the wounded parts of our hearts and expose them to the light of the Savior, we can't help but offer ourselves and others more grace, more patience, and more compassion. Just like the Savior does for us.
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Jeni BrockbankHi! I am a daughter of God who is healing in Christ's Light from the effects of a loved one's abuse, addiction, patterns of sexual betrayal and abandonment. I am a mother of 6, an author, a podcaster, and a friend to many. I adore healing in community and hope that you find this a safe place to heal. Archives
September 2023
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